


The Stars Shine For You

by cowboykylux



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emperor Hux, Fluff, Force Ghost Anakin Skywalker, M/M, Makeup Sex, Much Sadder Than Anticipated But Very Sweet and Fluffy Ending, Sad with a Happy Ending, Smut, Sort Of, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Time Travel, Very Very Happy Ending, themes of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-10 00:46:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13493295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cowboykylux/pseuds/cowboykylux
Summary: After overthrowing Snoke and assuming the throne, Kylo Ren finds being Supreme Leader isn't at all what he hoped it would be. With Hux angry at him, he wishes he had never been born, and when a special visitor shows up to give him guidance, Kylo realizes that his love for Hux can overcome any obstacle.





	The Stars Shine For You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!! This is my first Kylux fic of 2018!!! I originally hoped to post this for christmas, as it is a It's A Wonderful Life inspired story, but that never wound up happening, so i'm posting it now.
> 
> I am so excited to share this with you, but be warned, there is angst ahead! Please read the tags, and if this fic doesn't sound like something you'd be interested in reading, rest assured I have three more fics in the works to be posted quite soon! 
> 
> Please enjoy!
> 
> (All un-beta'd, all mistakes are my own!)

At first there had been nothing, nothing but the sound of anguish and pain, nothing but inky blackness that swallowed Kylo whole as he ran and ran, not even the light from his saber to illuminate the way. At first, there had been everything, a cacophony of screams and wails, night that consumed him in every way, the crackling from his saber etching burns into his hands. At first, the universe had seemingly collapsed in on itself, everything and nothing in a war for dominance over Kylo’s mind.

At first, Kylo had been afraid. Now he was just angry.

He was angry because it had been painted to be all his fault, when in fact that couldn’t be farther from the truth! He had done nothing wrong, and Hux was angry, and now _he_ was angry and – Kylo yelled, throwing his saber hard against the wall, letting it clang down to the floor. He pushed himself back against that very wall, and slid down it to sit next to his beaten up saber, hands in his face. He had gone over the incident a dozen times, and each time just filled him with more regret.

It all began after his coronation, a small private affair that contained an audience of mostly holo projected officials and dignitaries of the planets and systems Kylo now ruled. The only people in physical attendance had been Phasma, fresh from the med bay after she had been all but fished out of rubble, and Hux.

Hux, who refused to look him in the eye, Hux, who even through fatigue and pain – pain that _he_ had caused – stood tall and with his shoulders square. They did not speak to one another, even though Kylo wanted nothing more than to pull him close and kiss the frown off his lips. Kylo didn’t think he’d be allowed to kiss any part of Hux now, with the crown on his head and thoughts of betrayal clear in Hux’s mind.

_We were supposed to rule together._ Hux seethed, hands balled into fists as his nails dug crescents into his palms.

_We will!_ Kylo tried sending to him, but the walls were closed, and that had been that.

A few words had been spoken, Kylo gave a speech, and through it all, Hux looked just past him out at the viewport where the stars shone brightly, stars that by all rights Hux should command. And he would, he _would,_ if he would just let Kylo _talk to him._

That had been weeks ago, five weeks to be exact. Five weeks of grueling paperwork and meetings, five weeks of sleepless and lonely nights, five weeks of nothing but caf in his system, five weeks of heartbreaking silence in the slight hours of morning. Hux kept to himself, coming when ordered but leaving immediately after, never saying a word beyond the most basic responses, and it was driving Kylo mad.

All he had wanted was to put a crown on Hux’s head, and instead he got a cold shoulder and daggers for eyes. He could feel Hux’s happiness when he was with Phasma, the two of them taking each other’s friendship more seriously as a result of Phasma’s near-death, and it made Kylo even angrier, wishing that could be him – that he could be the one to light up Hux’s face with a joke, like he used to.

He shook his head, there was a meeting to be had, a meeting with Hux, and he tried his best not to get his hopes up. He walked down the long hall from his throne room to one of the large conference rooms, the first to arrive, and nervously picked at his fingernails in anticipation. He knew Hux would arrive before anyone else, that was simply in his nature, but would he react to Kylo being there at all? Would he speak, would he even look at him?

“Supreme Leader.” Hux said, answering at least one of Kylo’s questions. The bitterness in Hux’s voice was not lost on Kylo, but neither was the rawness of his throat, like he had been crying.

“I’ve told you to call me Kylo so many times.” He tried, hoping to lighten up the mood but instead worsening it from the looks of Hux’s scowl.

“That title is a privilege. You would do well to wield it with the respect it deserves.” Hux snapped, and Kylo nearly winced, knowing how if the tables were turned, he would call Hux nothing but titles for the rest of his days, for there were a man never as deserving of them than Hux. He felt like a phony at the head of the table in all his robes and gold.

“Hux – ” Kylo whispered, but Hux’s head shot up and for a short gloriously painful moment, their eyes met.

“That’s Grand Marshall. Respect, Supreme Leader.” Hux reminded him harshly, and Kylo swallowed around a dry lump in his throat at those eyes, red rimmed and sore looking, staring back at him with such fury that it ought to be treasonous. Kylo wanted to press soft kisses to the lids instead of any sort of execution.

“Of course, Grand Marshall.” Kylo nodded finally, taking his seat as other members of the meeting arrived.

The matter at hand was quickly and brilliantly solved, only taking over an hour of planning before Kylo had good conscious to dismiss them. He almost didn’t know what to do with himself, the block of time reserved for this meeting was nearly triple what they had actually spent. For once, Kylo felt that he had time on his hands with nothing to do. They all had Hux to thank for that, naturally. There truly was no better tactician than Hux, no one who knew the ins and outs of strategy better than him. Kylo’s hands itched under the table to hold him close as Hux spoke about trade deals and partnerships, alliances that would suit the Order and establish Kylo as a great leader. There was venom in those words too.

Kylo stood quickly and reached out to grab Hux’s wrist before he could stand.

“Supreme Leader,” Hux’s voice was dangerously low. “Unhand me.”

“Can’t we talk? Please, I just want to talk.” Kylo’s voice sounded foreign to his own ears, raspy and broken.

“You undermine all the careful planning I did, years worth of staging and theorizing, all gone in an instant because you kill Snoke without me, you assume the throne without me, throw me around like a rag doll in front of my men, and now you say you want to talk?” Hux asked, voice cold as ice.

“I’m _sorry_ , I didn’t want to pass up that opportunity.” Kylo tried, but Hux just barked a laugh that split the air with its frost.

“Are you sure it wasn’t that you wanted to impress that scavenger of yours, hmm? Show her the power of the darkside or whatever other bullshit you told her?” Hux’s hands closed into fists, clenching at his sides.

“What? No, it’s because he called you a – ”

“I’m aware of what he called me, Supreme Leader. Thank you for bringing it up, I’ve not been reminded yet, today.” Hux interrupted him, beginning to leave, not wanting to hear the insult again. He could never hear it for a thousand years and it would be too soon, the words too close to those of his father.

“Don’t walk away from me! I’m trying to tell you it’s for you!” Kylo shouted, his hanger getting the better of him. Why was it so hard to make Hux understand? Why did all this backfire so spectacularly?

“What is?” Hux asked, not stopping in his steps towards the door.

“The crown! The Order! Everything!” Kylo shouted with more ferocity, slamming a hand down on the table and gesturing to the large map that was still flickering above their heads.

That made Hux stop, he remained with his back to Kylo, but at least he wasn’t walking away again.

“Well I don’t want it.” Hux said after a long while, making Kylo’s heart shatter.

“You don’t?” He asked softly, the tension dropping from his shoulders in defeat.

“No, I want no part in whatever it is you’ve done to yourself. When you fail it’ll be your own doing.” “I want no part in _you_.”

 

Kylo screamed, and screamed, and screamed. He slashed up the walls and the floor, and hacked the throne to pieces. He kicked over tables and punched holes in the backs of chairs. He bared his teeth at his own reflection and then slashed a scar into the polished metal right over the one that split his face in two.

Chest heaving, he trembled with rage, abandoning the mess he made to retire to his bedchambers.

_I want no part in you._

He couldn’t help the words play over in his head, the finality of them heavy in his chest. He felt hollow and full of sadness at the same time, just like his nightmares, everything and nothing. He locked the doors from his bed with the force, and sat there. He didn’t know for how long, he didn’t know why.

He just sat there, listening to the force hum around him, focusing on the one bright spot in his existence, eating lunch happily with Mitaka or Phasma, softly speaking to droids and barking orders at troopers. He listened to Hux attend meetings, give speeches, carry on for hours, days.

He sat there and let himself wallow, only eating the barest of meals, knowing full well Hux would be disappointed. There was work to be done afterall.

He sighed and looked to the pile of ashes on his pyre, to the helmet that sat atop them.

“I don’t want this, I never did.” He said to it, afraid of the truth in the words. “I wish this never happened. I wish I were never born.” He sighed quietly.

It had been a long time since he thought those words, let alone say them out loud. The last time they left his lips he was a frightened Padawan who had slaughtered his friends and destroyed the one place his uncle found happiness. The time before that, he had said the words to his uncle, who had in turn pulled his lightsaber out with intent to kill. The time before _that,_ he had been sent away. He tried not to say it anymore, but now felt as appropriate as ever.

This time however, nothing happened. No one was there to reprimand him, or give him looks of pity, or sharply tell him to never say those words. Here, he was entirely alone. He sighed and laid down on the bed, fully clothed in all his splendor.

 

“I wish I were never born,” he said again, voice still just as soft. “None of this would have ever happened if it weren’t for me.”

The destruction of the Resistance, the slaughter of Luke’s temple, the rise of the Order, none of it would have happened if Kylo had just never been brought into existence. He would have never hurt Hux, never betrayed his uncle’s trust, never disappointed his family’s expectations – none of it. He would have solely been one with the force, just another drop of energy in the great pool.

“I once felt the same way.” A voice sighed, making Kylo bolt upright.

A man sat at the foot of his bed, with tousled hair and a scar down his eye, the same eye that Kylo had his own, and gave him a soft smile.

“Who are you?” Kylo asked stupidly, not entirely sure if he simply had lost the last shred of his sanity from the grief of his broken heart.

“Someone who’s heard you all these years.” The man said, smiling sadly.

Kylo studied him for a moment longer, taking in the black robes, the robotic arm, and the lightsaber hilt strapped to his belt. He barely registered the teal glow around the man, the way he slightly flickered from luminescence. He was, for all intents and purposes, a ghost. A force ghost that Kylo had only ever dreamed of meeting.

“Grandfather?” Kylo asked carefully, not sure how to address him now that he was actually here. He was so much younger than Kylo had pictured, shorter too. “But, but I thought – ”

“That I was some old man in a suit? I’m wounded.” His grandfather, Anakin Skywalker, The Chosen One scoffed. “No one ever told you, huh?”

“Told me what?” Kylo asked, head tilting to one side, trying to make sense of this all. Was he certain he wasn’t dreaming?

“It’s not important,” Anakin shrugged, before walking over to the edge of Kylo’s unmade bed, sitting down on it and getting comfortable. “You are though. Important. And I don’t mean that just because you’re my grandson.”

“I’ve done nothing but be a burden on everyone my whole life, I don’t know how that makes me important.” Kylo sighed, sitting down beside him. It was strange being here, having his grandfather here. He had a million questions, and he knew that it wouldn’t be practical to ask them now, even though he might never get another chance.

“Why do you think I’m here? I’m going to show you what the universe would be like if you were never born.” Anakin held a hand out, and Kylo just looked at it for a while, still unsure of the reality of the situation.

“Are we going somewhere?” Kylo finally asked, but Anakin just smiled and shook his head.

“We’ll stay here, just close your eyes.” He replied, holding the hand out further.

With a deep breath, Kylo took it, and the moment their fingers touched, they were thrown into what felt like lightspeed.

 

Kylo knew when he was having a force vision, and this felt like that only ten times stronger. He could feel everything, smell everything, hear everything, but his vision was better than reality, more defined and clear than he knew the world to be.

“I recognize this place,” Kylo whispered, taking in the soft hills of green grass that rolled as far down as the eye can see opposite the ocean. They were standing on the shores of Junari Point, a quiet seaside town that Kylo used to frequent as a toddler, before being whisked away to spend the rest of his life bouncing from one place to the next.

“Was this a happy place?” Anakin asked, and Kylo didn’t know how to answer. A flock of bulabirds scurried around in between pebbles, and Kylo scooped his hand into the pebbles, picking out a small crab that caught the attention of one small bulabird. It flew over and landed on Kylo’s wrist, taking the crab from in between his fingers and chirping happily, the stars on its beak glinting in the sun. 

“It was, for a short while.” Kylo said as the bird hopped down and away.

“It’s beautiful, but I didn’t bring you here to watch the sea.” Anakin said, turning away from the shore and heading back towards the grassy hills that Kylo longed to lay down in. “Follow me.”

Kylo didn’t think he’d ever see his mother again, but there she was, braids in her hair as she laughed with Mon Mothma, another woman Kylo thought to be dead. They were having lunch on the grass, a picnic of sorts as they ate cheeses and crackers and discussed the New Republic, hosting a parade on a planet that Kylo watched explode.

Leia looked much younger here than Kylo ever remembered her, even though her hair was beginning to grey and the skin around her eyes was crinkled when she smiled. Kylo’s chest pulled as his father appeared from over a hill, joking about _forgetting the best part of the party._

“They all look so happy.” Kylo remarked, unable to tear his face away from his father’s laughing form. He couldn’t remember the last time he saw his father laugh.

“I, uh, well – ” Anakin stammered, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Can we please go somewhere else?” Kylo whispered, feeling like he was being torn apart all over again. And he had thought he won that battle.

Kylo knew he hadn’t been a planned child, he knew that now in the faces of his parents, who were content and happy to exist outside of parenthood for seemingly their whole lives, happy to sit and have meetings with their friends and drink wine knowing the threat of evil wasn’t hanging over their heads anymore.

Anakin looked sheepish, and Kylo knew this wasn’t how he had probably planned for this to go. Kylo took his hand anyway, and suddenly he was back on Ahch-To.

 

The waves here were different, and they crashed against the rocks with the same violence as he remembered in his nightmares. Luke was happier here too, was different in a more confident way. There were Padawans training that Kylo didn’t recognize, generations of new Jedi brought forth and graduated without Kylo there to strike them down.

The caretakers walked right through him, reminding Kylo that this wasn’t real. It hurt, to think that it could have been.

Laughter broke Kylo’s attention, and he snapped his head around to watch four young padawans, maybe seven or eight years old, jump on top of Luke’s back, toppling him to the ground in a big pile. Several other padawans caught sight of the fun, and joined in, until Luke was practically buried under giggling students. They all gently floated up as Luke manipulated the Force to get them off of him, and they laughed louder, demanding to be spun in the air like weathervanes.

He looked better too, he kept his hair and beard trimmed nicely, he didn’t allow his robes to fall into disarray. His hand was well oiled and there was a glint in his eye as he set the laughing children down, only to be tackled once more by the beloved students. He looked happy, they all did.

“This really isn’t going how I imagined it would.” Anakin eventually said, after taking in the sight for himself.

“I can see that.” Kylo deadpanned, feeling worse than he did before.

“How long were you with Luke for?” Anakin asked, longingly looking at his son. Kylo sighed, Anakin probably wished he could have spent time with him, the sort of time that Kylo had been forced to spend.

“Long enough.” He replied, shame coloring his face. Anakin didn’t look away from Luke, but he did sound much sadder when he spoke next.

“He’s my son you know.”

“I do know.” Kylo said, he had gone through all the holos, all the records he could get his hands on when he first found out the truth behind his lineage. So many had been deleted, even from the archives, completely wiped away. That one hadn’t.

“I tried to get him to join me, to turn to the dark side.” Anakin said, throwing Kylo off-guard.

“Wait, what?” He hadn’t known that. He now had a million and twelve questions to ask his grandfather, and it stoked a fire inside him that he hadn’t felt in a while. Why had so much been kept from him? 

“Yeah, it uh, didn’t go so well. I may or may not have chopped his hand off.” Anakin coughed, his own face reddening in embarrassment. “Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is, he forgave me. He forgave me and saved my soul.”

“He didn’t do the same for me.” Kylo sighed bitterly.

“He knew there was light in your heart, Kylo. That’s why he agreed to take you to begin with, he wanted to salvage that.” Anakin tried, but Kylo knew that wasn’t the truth.

“He gave up on me, grandfather. They all did.” Kylo said matter of factly. He turned away, unable to look at the display before him, and walked up the cliffs to sit at the very top where the wind whipped his hair around into a knotted mess.

“I know.” Anakin said as he watched Kylo climb up the steps that must hold so much pain, “I’m sorry.”

 

“You know, when I first discovered you were my grandfather, I never imagined you were ever young too.” Kylo said when Anakin joined him on the cliff.

They were too far up to hear the laughter of the padawans, or the whooshing of training lightsabers, the only sound really was the wind and the calls of porgs that Kylo kept glaring daggers at.

“We all have to start from somewhere.” Anakin shrugged, sitting down next to his grandson.

“I feel like I never did, sometimes.” Kylo said, hating that he was feeling this way, with the object of his obsession sitting right next to him. He should be overjoyed to have this time with his grandfather, but instead he just felt bitter, denied this connection. 

“I was always there, always listening. I’m sorry I didn’t come to you sooner.” Anakin placed a hand on Kylo’s shoulder, and Kylo was surprised when he felt the weight.

“Why didn’t you?” He asked instead, not caring too much about the physics of Force visions.

“We’re not really allowed to. So I couldn’t ever go to you like this, but I did try and give signs. Little things, sentimental things.” Anakin explained, excitedly looking at Kylo, who only got more confused.

“Like what?” He asked, wracking his memory for any strange signs from his departed grandfather.

“Do you remember that time you came back from a mission four years ago, and Snoke had the guards beat you half to death?” Anakin asked, getting more excited by the moment.

“Maybe?” Kylo said, completely not remembering which one he was talking about. That had happened so many times that he often had large chunks of his memory missing from the trauma to his head.

“I’m talking about the first time.” Anakin clarified with a somber sort of smile.

“Oh, yeah, yes. I do.” Kylo immediately knew, that was one day he would never forget.

“You begged for me to give you some guidance, so I sent you a message in the stars. I made them shine brighter, just for you. Just so you’d know someone was listening.” Anakin whispered.

Kylo couldn’t held a little gasp slipping out of his mouth at that realization. He had thought he was just delirious that night, cradling a head wound inflicted by the only person who had ever shown he cared about Kylo. He knew it was a test, knew that however he reacted would be carefully observed by Snoke through the Force, knew that he couldn’t show outward weakness, knew he just had to take the punishment.

He had cried so hard that night, cried and silently begged for his grandfather to help him, to show him the way, give him a sign, and when he looked out the window, through the tears in his eyes the stars had looked so bright. Something about the stars had calmed him, reminded him that one day it would all be okay, as long as he just kept moving forward.

“I’m sorry.” Kylo blinked the tears away, feeling like a child once again.

“It’s okay.” Anakin reassured him, putting his arm around Kylo’s shoulders and giving him a squeeze. “You and I are very similar you know. I didn’t have anyone to look out for me for a long time, and then when I finally did, they betrayed me. Or I betrayed them, I don’t know.”

“What about grandma?” Kylo asked, remembering the holo of Padme’s funeral, of the beautiful young woman with blue flowers in her hair.

“Padme?” Anakin asked, as if he hadn’t thought about her in a long time. Maybe he hadn’t. “That’s something I’ll never forgive myself for, I almost choked her to death.”

“I almost did the same to Hux.” Kylo nodded, prompting Anakin to shoot straight up.

“Hux! That’s it, that’s our last stop, before I have to leave.” Anakin was back to excited again, and for some reason Kylo felt a trickle of dread drip down to his stomach.

“No, grandfather I don’t think – ” He never got a chance to finish before they were snapped through time and space to another location.

 

Kylo recognized Arkanis from the weather, never having been there himself he only knew it by the rain that by all means should be bruising his skin with its ferocity. They were standing on the front lawn of a mansion, grand high walls around it containing a thriving garden. Kylo was just about to ask what they were doing outside in the rain when he heard a splash and a curse from a voice that he knew he would recognize anywhere, in any time or universe.

Without thinking, he ran towards the voice, now a steady stream of curses, wanting to help and completely forgetting he wasn’t real in the process. He stopped in front of Hux, who had gotten his leg stuck in mud and had fallen to the ground. Kylo’s breath got caught in his throat, this was a Hux he had never seen, much too thin, with clothes that would have fit him if he had been given the chance for proper nourishment. How could he be so sallow-looking when he came from such wealth? The only thing that made him resemble Kylo’s Hux was the hair, slicked back out of his face by the rain, rather than expensive product.

Hux struggled to get his leg out for a moment or two, before giving in and laying down on the grass, arms spread on either side, eyes closed as rain rolled in angry streams down his body. Kylo laid down next to him, heart aching to be close to Hux, any version of him. Up close, he could see faint scars in his chin, in his lips, his eyebrows. White lines where his face had been ripped open, by the edge of a table or the gold of a ring. Up close, he could see the shadows under his eyes, the way the veins beneath his eyebrows stood out in purple streaks of lightning. Up close he could see the trembling in Hux’s hands, exhaustion clear on his body.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing boy?” A gruff warbly voice boomed through the sheets of heavy water.

“Nothing, Sir!” Hux scrambled to stand, foot still very much lodged in the mud that had tripped him in the first place.

“That’s right, nothing. You’re laying there like a plank of wood. What were your orders?” The man, Kylo recognizing him finally as the deceased Brendol Hux, nearly shouted himself hoarse to be heard.  

“Bring the Nerfs in from pasture, Sir.” Hux replied back, voice strong, as he attempted to free his leg. Kylo longed to go help him, but he knew this wasn’t real, none of it was.

“And where are they?” Brendol demanded, standing just underneath the awning of the side porch door, shielding himself from the rain. As if he couldn’t be bothered to help his son, as if he’d melt at the first drop of rain.

“The last one was just put into the stables, Sir!” Hux held a hand up to block the rain, or at least to try. The wind whipped it up at an angle, so no matter how Hux tried to position his hand, his face and eyes still stung.

“Next time it better be done before the rains come. I expect them cleaned and dried. All of them.” Brendol began to turn away when Hux started speaking again.

“There are dozens of them!” Hux huffed, frustrated. The poor man was shivering so violently that Kylo could hear his teeth clack together.

“How dare you talk back to me, you insolent, good for nothing wretch.” Brendol nearly screamed, red in the face, furious.

“Yes, Sir, I’m sorry, Sir.” Hux immediately acquiesced, ducking his head down and flinching away. If it hadn’t been for the rains, he probably would have been beaten half to death himself.

 

Brendol went back inside and Kylo watched as another red headed young man slipped through the door as it was closing, not a care in the world about the rain as he ran to Hux. He took Hux into his arms, and the two hugged one another after Techie helped dig Hux’s foot from in between the rocks that had been hidden by the mud.

“He can’t speak to you that way!” The man said, voice immediately recognizable. “Why do you let him speak to you that way?”

“Techie from the security department?” Kylo asked Anakin, who was watching the whole ordeal beside Hux. Kylo could tell it pained Anakin to not be able to help either, just by the way his eyes set sadly on the pair in front of them.

“They’re brothers.” Anakin nodded by way of explanation.

“Hux never mentioned he had a brother.” Kylo said, brow furrowing. Five years working with Hux, and not once had he ever even seen the two of them together.

“He never wanted Snoke to know, to separate them.” Anakin answered many of the questions that immediately came to Kylo’s mind.

“Because I’m a bastard. Thin as a slip of paper, and just as useless.” Hux didn’t hear them, of course he didn’t, this was only an illusion. He carried on his conversation with his brother, who held him tightly.

“That’s not true.” Techie reassured Hux, brushing the hair out of his face again because the wind had not been kind to Hux.

Kylo noticed that Techie’s hair was much better kept than Hux’s, his clothes were nicer, better fitting. Techie didn’t have that same sallow look to his skin that Hux did, and he lacked the bruises under his eyes that had found a home in Hux.

“What the hell is going on?” Kylo asked, angry once again.

“Brendol Hux never got to run the stormtrooper academy, because Snoke never became Supreme Leader. In the wake of the collapse of my Empire, he turned to business here, on Arkanis. Hux was never able to prove his worth in the academy, never able to make rank. So his father puts him to work as the housekeeper.” Anakin explained, making Kylo’s blood boil.

“But Hux is brilliant! They’re throwing his genius away!” He shouted, knowing no one could hear them.

“Kylo without you, Snoke had no incentive to save the crumbling Empire, no reason to start a new military. There is no outlet for Hux’s genius in this universe.” Anakin saw the rage in Kylo and it broke his heart, the passion he had for Hux was so genuine that he knew the two could do great things if they only learned to communicate with one another.

“But – but he could, couldn’t he join the rebellion? Wouldn’t they need a tactician? An engineer?” Kylo asked, turning frantic.

“They found one, in Rey. Luke never went into hiding, never cut himself off from the force, he could feel someone was coming, someone important. He trained Rey into the fiercest Jedi there ever has been, in all ways.” Anakin sighed.

“So what, Hux is just supposed to rot?” Kylo spit, baring his teeth.

“Oh no,” Anakin started, “He’ll be kept at a condition where he can work, and then he’ll do hard labor for the rest of his life, but he won’t be allowed to rot.” He replied matter of factly.

“You’re _really_ bad at this.” Kylo scrubbed a hand over his face.

“Hey cut me some slack I’ve never done this before.” Anakin put his hands up and defended himself. “We have to leave.” He sighed after a few more moments.

“Just, can you give me one more minute here?” Kylo asked.

Anakin never had been good at following the rules, so he nodded and let Kylo go after Hux.

Kylo walked into the stable where Hux was gently fluffing up the fur of one of the baby nerfs. The stable was simple, large but cozy. Kylo’s chest tightened when he saw the pillow and blankets up in the hay loft, knowing Hux must sleep there on the nights when he wasn’t put to work. There were very few belongings in the stable, but surprisingly, Kylo found a pad of paper and a pen sitting on one of the beams of wood.

Real paper, like he used to practice with, like no one had touched in thousands of years. Staying in the doorway of the barn, he focused the Force onto the pen, grinding his teeth together with the intensity of it. He knew this was an illusion, he knew none of it was real, but the idea of leaving behind one of the most brilliant men in the entire galaxy, leaving him to a life of ruin and misery, leaving him with nothing, was something Kylo couldn’t do.

“You’re not useless. You’re amazing. I’ve seen the things that you can do, that you will do, and they inspire me.” Kylo whispered, willing the pen to write the same. It did, in Kylo’s scrawling handwriting, and he floated the paper over to land right at Hux’s feet.

Kylo was breathing hard from the exertion, but his heart almost stopped when Hux bent down to pick it up. Kylo’s eyes widened, there was no way that this was real, and yet, the look that Hux wore on his face as he pressed the paper to his chest, bruised eyes closed, sitting in that small barn illuminated by an old gas lamp, would stay with Kylo forever. He looked like someone had given him a miracle, like someone had given him a sign, given him hope. Hux’s eyes opened and for an instant, they looked at one another. Kylo tried not to think about how it was the first time Hux hadn’t looked at him with disgust in weeks. Five weeks.

As soon as their eyes met, Kylo found himself back in his room, Anakin sitting at the foot of his bed.

“You weren’t supposed to do that.” Anakin pointed out.

“I didn’t know that I even could.” Kylo whispered, looking down at his hands, as if they would provide an answer.

“You can do a great many things, Kylo. You’re the Supreme Leader of the known universe, and I know you’ll be a better one than Snoke.” Anakin said with a force that gave Kylo hope.

“How?” He whispered, glad that his grandfather were here for the guidance he had always sought, glad that he didn’t have to voice his fears, that Anakin already knew them, and somehow believed in him anyway.

“Snoke never had the loyalty of someone like Hux, and you do.” He pointed out.

“Grandfather, he hates me.” Kylo groaned, flopping face first onto the bed.

“Hmm, no, he is wounded by a betrayal you caused. You really should work on your communication skills.” Anakin suggested, prompting Kylo to laugh and peer up from where his face was shoved into the comforter.

“Are you kidding me?” He asked, making Anakin laugh too. He missed laughing with someone, they both did.

“I can’t stay much longer, and I know this was somewhat of a disaster, but the point of all of this was to show you that your life has an impact on people, on at least one person, in a positive way. You have people who love and care about you, even if they are looking down on you from beyond death.” Anakin said, pulling Kylo to sit beside him.

“Sometimes it feels like the only truth I’ve ever been told is that I’m alone in the world, and sometimes, it feels like it’s _really_ true.” Kylo looked down at his hands, at the scars and the burns he had acquired over the years.

“A wise man once said, ‘the truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view.’” Anakin said, a sad twinkle in his eye.

“Will you ever come visit me again?” Kylo asked when Anakin stood up.

“Only when you need me the most. I’ll get hell for even coming here and doing this much.” Anakin groaned, prompting Kylo to laugh again.

“We can’t ever get off easy can we?” Kylo mused.

“Sorry grandson, you’ve got the Skywalker blood in you, difficulty sort of runs in the family.” Anakin put a hand on Kylo’s shoulder and gave it a fond pat.

“So I’ve discovered.” Kylo rolled his eyes.

“Speak with Hux. Don’t give up on him.” Anakin began to disappear, flickering in and out of existence.

“I won’t, goodbye grandfather, thank you.” Kylo said, wanting Anakin to hear him, really hear him.

“Look to the stars when you’re feeling down, they’ll shine for you.” He said before the rest of him turned blue and he faded, back to the veil.

 

Suddenly, there was a sharp and insistent knocking on the durasteel wall of Kylo’s bedchambers, and the Force sang so loudly and beautifully, it had Kylo running out of his room to open the door. There, standing on the other side of the door, was Hux, in his bed clothes, immediately pushing himself into Kylo’s arms.

“What a bloody fool I’ve been.” Hux said, face burrowed into Kylo’s chest.

“Hux – ” Kylo blinked in shock, before backing them into Kylo’s suite and closing the door so no passersby could see.

“I had a dream, a dream of what my life might have been like, and you were there. How were you there?” Hux looked up at him, with red rimmed eyes from either lack of sleep or crying, or both. Kylo hoped it wasn’t both, but the red in his eyes made them all the more green, beautiful and soulful, and so close to his own face that it was disorienting.

“My grandfather brought me.” Kylo said, never wanting to keep anything from Hux again.

“What? Never mind, it’s not important. What is important, is that it made me realize that you are the one good thing to happen in my life. I’ve been so angry, so angry Kylo, I thought I wanted you gone, out of my life forever.” Hux said in a rush. Kylo shook his head and with all the pain in a heavy chest slowly detangled his limbs from Hux’s.

“You have every right to feel angry, I failed you.” Kylo knew now that he had to let Hux be angry, had to let them process their emotions with complete validity.

“No! No, you didn’t! I’ve been an absolute idiot, refusing to even let you explain yourself because of my hurt pride. You didn’t fail me, you did everything _for_ me. I see that now.” Hux was speaking so fast, Kylo almost didn’t notice the tremble in his voice, or the way his fingers twitched as they twisted in Kylo’s robes.

“This crown belongs to you. The crown, the throne, the universe. I did it all for you.” Kylo finally broke, touching his fingers to Hux’s cheekbones.

When Hux’s lips touched his own, Kylo could swear he heard the deep space angels sing, the galaxy bending to Hux’s whim, the worlds under their command throwing parades and parties. When Hux’s lips touched his own, he felt like he was being flung into hyperspace, drowning in joy and dizzy with rejoice. When Hux’s tongue slid against his own, he felt like he was carried away on the backs of fathiers, speeding and spinning on his Silencer, dropping into a supernova.

They broke away after a moment, but Kylo and Hux both cradled each other’s faces, not allowing more than an inch of space to come between them.

“I know, I know that now. I’m sorry, I never should have doubted you.” Hux whispered against Kylo’s lips, letting their lips brush and kissing sweetly.

 

Later, much later, when they had tired themselves out with tears of joy and make-up sex and the reunion of their bodies, minds, and souls, Kylo turned to Hux, who even while laying down, covers tucked up to his chin, still had a blue cigarra dangling from his lips. Kylo hadn’t realized how badly he missed the smell until it stung his nostrils once more.

“What happened in the dream? That made you realize you wanted me again?” Kylo asked, propping himself up on his elbow, tracing Hux’s cheek once again with the pads of his fingers. The skin there was so soft, lightly dusted with freckles, but so soft. His eyelashes shone nearly translucent with the light from the window.

“I never stopped wanting you, not really.” Hux whispered, blowing out smoke, watching it hang in the air. “I thought you were toying with me, taunting the crown over my head only to snatch it away, I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to be executed for treason.”

“I swear to you I’ll never harm a hair on your head again.” Kylo climbed over Hux’s body, and began pressing his lips to all the exposed bits of face and neck that he could when Hux breathlessly laughed, squirming to get away from the barrage of chaste kisses.

“Hmm yes, you’ve got a lot of apologizing to do. But so do I.” Hux hummed, stretching underneath Kylo like the great cat that he was. Kylo smiled and kissed him again, taking the cigarra out of his mouth, and then putting it back when he had his fill of Hux’s sweet mouth.

Hux stubbed the cigarra out and lunged up at Kylo, pulling him down flush with his body, grinding his hips up against him. Kylo groaned into Hux’s mouth, and felt is own body react, cock getting hard against Hux’s stomach for the second time that night.

Without saying anything, Kylo gently lifted Hux’s thigh, wrapping his leg around his waist, and lining himself up with Hux’s wet, pliant hole, wrecked from only an hour or so ago. He looked to Hux, wanting confirmation before sliding in, and he was met with hungry eyes and kiss bitten lips. Hux sensed what Kylo was waiting for, and nodded, pushing on Kylo’s back to come closer, as close as possible, and then closer still. With a moan they both settled against one another, Kylo pushing himself all the way in, feeling the warmth of Hux’s body surrounding him in all the possible ways.

Hux swore and moaned under him, shoulders twitching in little spasms that made Kylo bend down to kiss each freckle he found there. They moved in tandem until Kylo was coming, emptying himself into Hux again, never wanting to do anything else but be with Hux for as long as he lived. The way Hux looked up at him, with adoration in his eyes, Kylo thought Hux might be thinking the same.

“I love you more than there are stars in the sky.” Kylo said as he pulled out, wincing only slightly. Normally Hux would laugh and swat Kylo out of the bed and into the bathroom to get a cloth to clean them both up, but he just rolled over and pressed himself against Kylo’s broad chest.

“They’re so beautiful tonight, look at them, they’re so bright.” Hux said, tracing patterns over Kylo’s sweaty, glistening pecs. Stars how he had missed them. He missed everything about Kylo, he really had been a fool.

“They’re shining just for us, I’ll lasso them all and bring them to their knees for you.” Kylo replied, a vow being made before their very eyes.

“I’ve missed you so much.” Hux thought out loud, making Kylo’s face split into the most wonderful smile he probably had ever had. “I can’t say I’ll promise never to get mad at you again, but I can promise I’ll at least hear you out before the fury comes from now on.”

“And I can’t promise to never screw up again, because let’s be real, but I can promise I won’t do anything behind your back again.” Kylo agreed, and they kissed for a moment before breaking out into giggles against each other’s lips.

“Look at us, we’re such a mess.” Hux laughed, letting his head fall back against Kylo’s chest as he shuffled himself down the bed.

“Yes, but at least together we can keep one another in check.” Kylo said, still smiling.

 

“Kylo?” Hux asked, hours later, truly in the middle of the night.

“Yes?” Kylo replied, only half asleep, despite being exhausted from all the events that day.

“Don’t ever leave me, I don’t think my heart could take it.” Hux whispered, his hands clenching into fists again, this time out of fear and anxiety.

“I won’t, I promise.” Kylo said, kissing the top of Hux’s head. As long as Hux wanted him he would be there, in whatever capacity Hux decided.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Hux said, earning a soft hum from Kylo.

He turned onto his side and cupped Hux’s cheek, thumb rubbing soft circles right under Hux’s eye.

“Never, my Emperor.” Kylo said, tucking Hux’s head under his chin.

“One more thing?” Hux said, the vibration from his voice tickling Kylo’s neck.

“Hm?” Kylo asked, already drifting back to sleep.

“I love you.” Hux said, and Kylo’s eyes flew open. It was the first time Hux had ever really said the words, he had always shown his love in other ways, in other sayings, but never those three.

“I love you too.” Kylo whispered, heart full of love and joy.

 

There was a lot of work to be done, both in the Order, and in their relationship, but Kylo was so thrilled that there was a relationship at all left to salvage. Holding Hux in his arms, feeling the breath on his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart, he knew that this is where he belonged.

Anakin smiled down on them from beyond the veil, glad he was able to have helped in some small way. Folded into a neat square in Hux’s pants was a little slip of paper, hidden away from view, with three short sentences scribbled onto it in black ink. The stars shone softly outside the large paneled window, blanketing them in a haze of blues and purples as nebulae swirled off in the distance, theirs to command, together. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading, I hope that you enjoyed this fic!!! 
> 
> If you'd like to chat with me about the fic, feel free to leave me a comment below! You can also find me on tumblr, @cowboykylux, let's be friends! :) 
> 
> Hope to see you all again very soon with new works, and looking forward to sharing more fics with you all this year!!!
> 
> xxx


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